Let's Make. . . Rice (uh, what?)

The Culprit

I don't really believe in psychotherapy. The whole "tell me about your parents" thing doesn't really make sense to me. While you might be influenced by your parents, eventually you reach an age and awareness where you have free will to make your own decisions. At some point, it's not mommy and daddy's fault you're f'd up, it's your own. The one thing I will plant firmly on my mom's shoulders is my obsession with good rice. You see, mom was a convenience cook. Betty Crocker Au Gratin Potatoes (heck, I used to like to eat the little potato wafers...like a giant super crispy weird ass potato chip), Bag N' Season Pot Roast (it's nubby, weird reconstituted green and red peppers and thin sauce), Pork Chops cooked in Lipton's Onion Soup Mix, Company Chicken made with Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup. . . all those I can live with. . in fact, sometimes I crave those things something fierce - especially Company Chicken. But one thing I never could get past was the dread MINUTE RICE. Sweet Mary Mother of Jesus, I hate that stuff. Reconstituted rice from which all texture and flavor has been removed. It wasn't until I was in 3rd grade that I learned the true delights of rice. I went to my friend Feli's house and her mom served chicken adobo over rice. It was a complete revelation for me. Feli's family was Filipino and like any good Filipino family they had a giant rice cooker from which scoops of steaming hot rice emerged. . .rice actually smelled good. It actually had texture and flavor. Oh my!

Being as I came from a non-real rice household, I had a hard time learning how to cook rice. I got all kinds of advice. .. get a rice cooker (um, no, not in my house . . . I was the only one so rice obsessed) measure the rice, cover it with enough water to come up to the first knuckle of your pinkie finger (index finger, pointer finger, etc. etc.). . . being as I have smaller than average hands, that never worked for me. Boil the rice in the water, turn it down and simmer for 15 minutes. Boil the water, add the rice, cover, boil for five minutes, take off heat and let rest for 15 minutes. .. a million different ways but none of them consistently gave me good rice. One day it dawned on me to read the package. .. uh, yeah...for long grain white rice it's two to one. . two parts liquid to one part rice. Boil the water, add the rice, cover tightly and simmer for 20 minutes. Remove from heat, let rest five minutes, fluff with fork. Et voila - perfect rice. I always add a dash of salt and sometimes a little nub of butter but that's pretty much it. Same for a rice pilaf, saute the rice with whatever aromatics you're going to use but the liquid/rice ratio stays the same. Perfect rice every time. Or I guess I should say perfect REAL rice every time. I am partial to Mahatma extra long grain white rice. . .sometimes I just eat it plain with butter or soy sauce just 'cause I can.

Perfect Long Grain White Rice

2 cups water (or chicken broth)
1 cup long grain white rice (I love Mahatma)
pinch of salt
nub of butter (optional)

Boil the water in a small pan with a tight fitting lid. Add rice, salt and butter, if using, and stir to combine. Bring the water back to a simmer, cover, put on lowest heat possible and cook, undisturbed (that means DO NOT lift that lid!) for 20 minutes. Remove from heat, let rest for five minutes. . fluff with fork (or alternatively, just eat by the forkful out of the pot!)

Leftover Boeuf Bourguignonne over plain ol' delicious white rice!